Brittany Walker: David Eason Cheated on Jenelle Evans, And His Penis Is the Size of a Vienna Sausage!

Ever since Jenelle Evans got back together with David Eason, it’s been one disaster after another on The Land.

And we’d be lying if we said we don’t find the whole mess gloriously entertaining.

The latest kerfuffle involves Brittany Walker, the woman that David hooked up with while he and Jenelle were separated last year.

Perhaps innocently, or perhaps knowing it would drive David and Jenelle literally insane, Brittany posted a throwback photo from her and David’s fling this week.

Jenelle and David both lost their freakin’ minds, as they do when they’re presented with any sort of obstacle.

But the meltdown was even more severe than expected in this case, and it looks like the Easons may have finally met their match in Brittany Walker.

When Britt posted her pics, Jenelle immediately lost it and it started accusing her of being a Teen Mom groupie who would bang anyone associated with the show, a la Amber Portwood’s ex, Matt Baier.

“This chick has also hung out with Andrew Glennon,” Jenelle alleged with no evidence to support her claim.

Jenelle Evans Comes For David Eason Side-Piece: “Britt” is a Female Matt Baier-Style Groupie!Start Gallery

Evans went on to claim that Britt “even tried getting with Nathan [Griffith] before hitting up David.”

Jenelle hilariously posted, “Trying to get me upset, it’s not working,” before losing her sh-t even more severely.

“If you’re so ‘in love’ then leave the past in the past and go show your attention to your HUSBAND,” she wrote to Britt.

But if you thought Jenelle’s reaction was over the top, wait until you get a load of David’s!

As Brittany revealed on her Instragram page, David contacted her and threatened her with. lawsuit.

The tone of his empty threats brings to mind the incident in which Dave informed some random photagrapher that he would be “harrested” outside of a North Carolina courthouse.

We didn’t think it was possible, but this incident is even funnier, as David brutally roasts himself repeatedly during his conversation with 

First, Brittany tried to get David to leave her alone by informing him that she needs to study (something he surely knows nothing about).

“While you study, keep in mind the $75k I’m about to sue you for,” he wrote.

“Lol you probably need it when u didn’t even have gas money to get home,” Walker responded, instantly attaining queen status.

From there, David threatens to sue Britt for slander for … saying she saw his penis?

Britt dismisses David as a money-hungry liar, which he clearly is, and he proceeds to prove her right by laying out his case as though he’s already in court.

(Generally, if you actually have a case against someone, you just sue them, instead of threatening to sue them.)

“I got you on slander $25k, defamation $25k, lost wages (due to reputation damage) $25k,” he wrote.

As though the idea of David having a salary or a reputation weren’t funny enough, he went on to reveal that he’s not exactly packing a bratwurst in those Wranglers.

“You are the one who said my penis resembles a vienna sausage,” David wrote.

“You will be held responsible for that.”

We assume that somewhere, Brittany is still laughing hysterically, having received the most hilarious message ever sent over the internet.

As many have pointed out David was recently accused of pistol-whipping a friend of Jenelle’s, and he could be facing jail time.

And yet, he seems more upset about the Vienna sausage remark than the possibility of getting locked up.

Hell, people have accused David of abusing his children, wife, and pets and he didn’t even get this upset!

We’re thinking Britt may have touched on a sensitive spot — and based on her description, it sounds like it wasn’t easy to find!

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