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What a relief it is not to be in the skate-off! I’m so thankful to get over this first hurdle and advance onto musicals week because I’ve got so much to prove after that fall.
To be honest, it’s all a bit of a blur. As soon as my blade clipped the back of my foot I just had this instant thought of, “Noooo! I’m falling and I can’t recover!”
I was gutted when I hit the ice because I felt like the routine was going really well up until that point. But once I was down I heard all the other pros and contestants cheering me on.
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That really uplifted me and helped me to get back up and carry on with the routine. It is what it is – I embarrassed myself on live TV in front of millions of people. You’ve just got to laugh it off.
It’s definitely motivated me going into musicals week. We were also joint top of the leader board despite the fall. That made me think, “Hang on a second, I can actually do this.”
I just can’t get over how nerve-wracking the results are. I’m not going to lie, that was probably the most scared I’ve ever been in my entire life.
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I thought Lady Leshurr and Brendyn Hatfield performed phenomenally. For me, theirs was the best routine of the night. So being stood next to those guys I really thought I was in the skate-off and that was it. I was going through the routine for it in my head because I was so certain that it was me.
When they said Joe and Vanessa I had this huge amount of relief, but I felt so sorry for Brendyn and Leshurr because they were amazing and I really thought they did brilliantly.
Behind the scenes everyone is genuinely so nice. It’s like a big family.
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Despite what the rumours say, I’ve never had a single skating lesson. I’ve been ice skating with the family at Christmas, but only for an hour or so. My first time on the ice properly was the masterclass with Torvill and Dean. That’s when I realised I really wanted to take it seriously and do well.
That's obviously not the only story that's circulating. Romance rumours and everything like that comes with the territory and are part of the job. It is what it is. I just try not to let it phase me.
Training my main priority. It's intense and a little bit stressful at times to be honest. Vanessa and I are both perfectionists and always want to give 100%.
It’s frustrating because I pick up the harder stuff relatively quickly – it’s the simple stuff I get stuck on. Vanessa gets a bit frustrated when I can’t get the basics, but we just take some time out, chill, and hit the reset button.
She comes across strict, but she’s such a lovely person. She’s so dedicated to the show and it really motivates me. There’s definitely pressure on me to go far as she’s never not been in the finals. It’s as much her competition as it is mine and I don’t want to be the cause of an early exit for her.
Emmerdale cast members also seem to have a really good track record on the show – including my on-screen dad Matthew Wolfenden. He absolutely smashed it back in 2011 and won the show.
The main tip he gave me was to just enjoy it. At the end of the day, Dancing on Ice is a once in a lifetime opportunity. He said if I put too much pressure on myself I won’t enjoy training.
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“Enjoy the moment and live for the experience you’ll take out of it,” was what he told me, so I’m trying to take that on board. I tend to overthink things. I put too much pressure on myself and end up getting really anxious.
The lead-up to the first live show was so stressful. I was losing sleep over it and worrying every single day. Once I got out there and the music started I just completely forgot about everything and was so in the moment – too in the moment. I think all that built-up excitement was the reason I hit the deck.
I can’t wait for next week. I won’t spoil anything, but we’re training hard and it’s a great song. Hopefully, you guys are in for a treat!
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