IT’S come again – today is National Orgasm Day, and it’s well worth celebrating with a bang.
But how can you ensure your big moment won’t turn into an anticlimax? Sexpert Kate Taylor gives her guide for both men and women on how to achieve maximum pleasure.
DON’T DRINK BOOZE, DO DRINK WATER
AS you have probably found, drinking too much can interfere with your ability to have sex.
But also not drinking enough can cause problems — specifically, not drinking enough water.
When you are dehydrated, your body releases the hormone angiotensin that restricts blood flow all around your body, including down there. This can make it harder to stay aroused.
Make sure you are hydrated by drinking eight glasses of water (around 1,600ml) a day, and more if you are exercising — including sex.
I like the theatre of sex. I like to look good. I like her to dress up. I like to dress up.
SURFING is the art of bringing yourself almost to orgasm, then stopping. Why would you put yourself through such torture?
Because repeating this process a few times can make your final orgasm much more powerful than it would have been.
You can try it during sex — stop what you’re doing each time you feel yourself getting close, or hold the base of your penis firmly to stave off an orgasm — but it is often easier to practise by yourself first.
EVER wondered how tantric masters manage to make love for hours? It’s all to do with controlling their pelvic floor muscles.
Yes, guys have them too, and you can find them by using the same technique that women use — going to the loo, then stopping mid-flow.
Build up their strength by squeezing them for two seconds, 30 times, three or four times a week.
When you have mastered control over these muscles, squeeze them during sex when you are on the brink of orgasm — it will stop you finishing physically, but you will still feel a wave of pleasure, like a mini climax. Repeat until you can beat pop star Sting’s eight-hour marathons.
Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over’til you both getyour cookie.
DON’T GO IT ALONE
IF you have ever thought your orgasms are more powerful during sex than when alone, you’re right.
A Scottish study found men release 400 per cent more prolactin (the hormone that makes you feel sexually satisfied) after sex than they do after masturbation.
If you are tempted to wait for the real thing, there are other benefits to skipping solo fun — at least for a couple of days.
A 24 to 48-hour break can make your next sessions stronger and more satisfying.
TAKE HER FOR A COFFEE
DRINKING coffee can have a powerful effect on your sex life (as long as you wait until you get home).
A study in Texas discovered that men who drank two coffees every day were 42 per cent less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than men who did not.
And it is good for women too, as another study found men AND women who drank two or three cups of coffee a day were more likely to describe themselves as “sexually active”.
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
A HUGE study last year discovered the most common reason women do not orgasm during sex is that they struggle to stay focused.
When your mind wanders, your body cannot become turned on enough to climax. To stay on track, take more control and be the dominant partner.
When you’re in charge, you naturally keep your mind on the action.
Or switch things up so it’s unpredictable, which makes your mind less likely to stray. And practise meditation during the day — it trains you to bring your thoughts under control.
MOST women find it is easiest to get off in the middle of their cycle — days 12 to 15, around ovulation.
At that time you get a natural rush of oestrogen, which ramps up your arousal, making sex more pleasurable.
Don’t leave it until later in the month — progesterone rises after Day 20 and makes you crave Netflix more than nookie.
If you’re not having periods, due to contraception, pregnancy or menopause, track your sex drive over a month. There will still be natural ebbs and flows, and you will see a pattern.
I didn’t begin enjoying sex until I started masturbating. It’s a shame I didn’t discover it sooner. Everybody should.
COOL DOWN, HEAT UP
GETTING more exercise will improve your orgasms more than almost anything else.
Not only does exercise increase your self-esteem and happiness (both shown to impact how much you enjoy sex), but it actually increases how aroused you get.
A study found women experienced 169 per cent more blood flow to their vagina immediately after a 20-minute workout, leading to stronger climaxes.
Any exercise will work, but I’d avoid the exercise bike.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
THE sexual response cycle has four stages — desire (your sex drive), arousal (getting turned on), orgasm and resolution (now bring me a cup of tea).
Most men can reach the orgasm stage within three minutes, but it takes women an average of 14 minutes.
So instead of skipping ahead to sex, slow the process down and work slowly through each stage.
Or just pick the right time of day — our oestrogen peaks at 10pm, making us feel affectionate and sexy, so it’s a good time to hit the sheets.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
ONCE you have had an orgasm, try to have another.
Unlike men, women do not have a “refractory period” (the pause between orgasms when you cannot become aroused).
Technically, there is nothing to stop us having a never-ending series of orgasms.
The best time to try for a second climax is within one minute of your first one, using exactly the same method.
DURING an orgasm, your pelvic floor muscles rapidly contract and relax.
If you’re finding it difficult to orgasm, or feeling only the faintest flutter, try strengthening the muscles.
To tone up, go to the loo and stop mid-flow — that simple squeezing action is known as a kegel.
Aim to do three sets of 30 kegels every day, and do them during sex.
I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who has never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart.
A GRAPPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY
HERE are just some of the surprising health benefits of orgasms.
SEX can actually make you more intelligent – at least temporarily.
Research has found that having regular sex generates more cells in the hippocampus region of the brain, the area that handles memory and information retention, actually increasing your IQ by a few points. The effect only lasts while you are having regular sex, though.
THE more frequently you orgasm, the stronger your body’s ability to fight off infection.
In 2004, scientists discovered that people who had sex three or more times a week had 30 per cent higher levels of immunoglobin-A (a disease-fighting antibody) than those who only managed two sessions or fewer.
THOSE few blissful seconds of orgasm might even add years to your life. A study asked middle-aged men how often they orgasmed every week, then followed up with them ten years later.
The men who had climaxed two or more times per week were found to have a 50 per cent lower mortality risk than their less-frisky cohorts.
AN orgasm only burns two or three calories – but they all add up. If you fancy getting jiggy to get less jiggly, choose positions where you are the most active.
ENDORPHINS released during orgasm have natural pain-relieving qualities.
In fact, the effect is so powerful that even just thinking about sex might increase your tolerance to pain.
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