Isabelle*, a 34-year-old copywriter, has offered us a sneak peek into a week in her sex life for this instalment of How I Do It.
Isabelle has been in various stages of recovery from anorexia for 16 years, and she describes her relationship with sex as ‘complex’, often feeling uncomfortable with her body.
Her body doesn’t produce the hormones that boost her libido, so she’s ‘always been a bit give or take with sex’.
However, since meeting her boyfriend Alex*, with whom she is ‘dizzily in love’ Isabelle is having the best sex she’s ever had.
Want to know how they’ve been getting on? Well, you’re about to…
I usually go to bed before Alex, and today is no different.
We’ve been out this evening, foraging with friends, no less. When we get back, I have a drink and snack and go to bed.
I feel a bit full and uncomfortable, so when Alex comes up and starts kissing me I say I can’t tonight.
Five minutes later, and I’m horny as hell, so I push up against him, and we start kissing and touching. We have fast, furious sex that feels really good for both of us.
Alex is in the office today, so no afternoon sex, alas.
Usually when he’s not at home, I send photos from the bath, and we have a bit of text sex. That’s how our relationship started, I guess.
We’d been friends for a couple of years, it was the start of lockdown, and I realised how in love with him I was.
We streamed Normal People together (essentially soft porn) and I sent him some texts that were certainly not within the friend zone. Cue text sex every night.
I go out for a walk mid-morning and decide that when I get home I want to have sex.
I dump the shopping and go upstairs, but my mortgage adviser rings and Alex is making the bed. I take the call, willing it to end, so I can shag Alex.
As soon as it does I’m kissing him, and we’re making out among the sheets.
I go down on him, something I have always hated but really love with Alex. I touch myself while I do it, both of us moaning together, and come really hard.
Then we have sex, him on top, and by the end we’re both sweaty. It’s a hot day and that was a lot of fun.
We lie on the bed, Alex tells me how gorgeous and sexy I am, and we have a bit of natter about our day.
I feel totally comfortable being naked with him, and love laughing and smiling after sex.
I spend the evening interviewing a poet on stage at a book festival. We talk a lot about sex and particularly taboos around pleasure and masturbation.
I feel really lucky and pleased to be having not only great sex but comfortable sex. I don’t see ‘comfortable’ as not exciting or settling for something less, I mean something we’re both really honest and open about. I’m with someone I feel comfortable enough coming in front of.
That night, after a few drinks, we go to bed and have sex. First, Alex kisses me all over whilst I touch myself, and I come hard. Then I’m on top for what I realise is the first time in a long time.
What a good day. We fall asleep happy.
I’m hungover today, and not normally in the mood for sex when I’m feeling ropey. But I do feel dizzily in love, and we hug and kiss loads, so it’s fine.
I go to bed early and Alex goes to the cinema. We send each other cute texts.
When I’m laying in bed, I really want his hands on me. Not even in a sexual way, I just love our skin together.
We always sleep with our feet touching. On the day I moved in, at the start of the second lockdown, we fell asleep, and he whispered ‘it’s all going to be ok, kid, our feet are touching.’
Sometimes I quite fancy morning sex, but Alex is definitely not a morning person, so I let that slide.
He’s in the office today, and my parents are coming round in the evening, so our busy agenda might mean sex proves tricky. That doesn’t stop us flirting.
I’ve seen something about women putting partners on sex bans during the Euros, and Alex says I couldn’t manage that. This makes me smile, as I’ve always been paranoid boyfriends don’t think I want enough sex.
I send photos of me in the bath, and ask if he can come home early. He’s even got on the train home from London before for an afternoon shag.
It’s a no today, unfortunately. I take matters into my own hands, quite literally, and start touching myself on the bed. I send photos and we exchange dirty texts.
I send him a voice note, so he can hear me orgasming, and he has to go to a meeting room to listen. Apparently, he gets hard hearing me moan.
God, I fancy him.
When my parents leave in the evening, I start kissing Alex, and he says he’s too tired as it’s clear what I want.
It’s always hard not to feel slightly rejected, but we’re very clear in our relationship that there should never ever be any pressure or obligation to have sex, and it doesn’t reflect how much we love and fancy each other.
But an hour later when we’re in bed he’s suddenly not too tired, and we have breathy and sweaty sex.
We have such an us day. Long country walk, tour and tasting at a vineyard, funfair at our local park and a yummy dinner and wine. And to top it all off, Alex beat the system and won me a cuddly toy.
In the morning before we leave and while we are walking, we make flirty comments about what we will get up to later, but it doesn’t happen.
In fact, the evening is pretty flat and meh, which is disappointing after a lovely day but probably because we’re both tired, so I go to bed early.
I’m feeling fat and tired and ugly today. But I try to be brave and fight the eating disorder and have a lot of drinks and a few snacks at Alex’s sister’s 30th birthday family party.
I always hate drinking two days in a row because it makes me feel greedy. But I do actually have a good time.
When we get home, Alex says he’s been thinking about me all day which turns me on.
We have the best sex, with kissing and touching and a blowjob and hard f***ing.
*Names have been changed
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.
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