DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE agreed to be friends with benefits with a mate of mine – but I’m having doubts, as he’s highly sexual and into weird stuff.
I’m a 20-year-old girl and he’s 23. I have known him for five years. There’s nobody special in either of our lives at the moment so he suggested we start a no-strings relationship.
We’ve discussed respect and boundaries but he’s got a much higher sex drive than me, so I worry we may not be compatible. He’s told me some of the things he has done with other girlfriends – really kinky – and I don’t think I’d be into that.
Our first session will be next weekend, when I’m home from uni. I feel apprehensive. Will this work?
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DEIDRE SAYS: No, and why get into this sort of a relationship if it is causing you anxiety?
You do not sound very sexually compatible and getting involved in acting out his fantasies could leave you feeling very hurt and used.
Tell him you’ve changed your mind and you would prefer to keep your friendship as it is.
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