DEAR DEIDRE: MY elderly dad is being nasty to his health care team now he is in respite care. He suffers from dementia.
He used to be such a gentle soul, but since the disorder set in he has developed a vindictive tongue. He calls the staff awful names.
My mum couldn’t cope with him any longer. He kept falling and she hurt her back each time she tried to pick him up.
She didn’t escape his insults either and he used to refer to her as “that ugly, pathetic woman”.
He is 78 and my mum is 76.
Now it looks as though his care will be permanent and we are not coping.
Even though it wasn’t easy having him around, we feel awful we can’t visit due to coronavirus. I miss him so much.
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DEIDRE SAYS: This separation will be difficult for all of you. Not being able to be with the people we love has been one of the hardest aspects of this pandemic.
Do talk to his care team about its visiting policy. And while you dad’s language is not ideal, his carers will understand it is the dementia talking.
You will find understanding support through dementiauk.org (0800 888 6678).
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