DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER discovering I had a secret friendship, my husband left me. I’m heartbroken.
I knew my friend – another man – way before I met my husband.
I contact him now and then, usually when my husband and I argue.
Our friendship is platonic. I don’t fancy him and he isn’t interested in me.
My husband used my phone and noticed I’d called my friend. I denied I’d spoken to him because my husband has issues with trust.
His ex-wife cheated on him many times.
He got so worked up. We parted for what I thought would be a few days so he could calm down.
But it’s now three months later and we are still apart. I’m 47 and my husband is 49.
He sends me messages making out he’s done me a favour, but then says he still cares about me. I’m so confused.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Some secrets can undermine trust and your husband’s was severely damaged.
He is sending mixed messages which suggest he is not sure about what he wants.
Explain why you didn’t tell him about your friend and reassure him it is all innocent.
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Ask him outright if he sees any hope for the two of you.
If he won’t answer your questions clearly, you may need to move on.
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