My partner makes me dye my hair red because his ex had hair that colour

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner makes me dye my hair red because his ex had hair that colour.

He constantly puts me down and compares me to her. Last night, he told me he doesn’t find me sexually attractive now.


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We have been together for 20 years, ever since I was 20. Our relationship has got progressively worse over the years.

He’s 45, watches porn all the time and pays nothing towards the bills. He takes expensive holidays abroad with his friends while I’m left looking after our two children.

I am starting to feel like I have wasted my life with a cruel and selfish man.

I’ve told him how unhappy and lonely I am but he doesn’t care. In fact, he seems to enjoy making me squirm with his hurtful jibes.

I don’t want to leave my children alone but I sometimes think about taking my own life. 

DEIDRE SAYS: This man has hurt you and humiliated you to the point of having thoughts about ending your own life. He is an emotional abuser.

Please talk to someone about your feelings – someone who can help you. You can call the Samaritans (samaritans.org) day or night free on 116 123.

My support pack on Abusive Partners should help you find a way forward.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE It has been three months since my girlfriend and I split up but I can’t move on

READ DEIDRE'S NEW PHOTO CASEBOOK Micky's devious ex asks him to get back together after his split

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