Polyamorous man who lives with his two girlfriends admits their families feared he was ‘exploiting them for sex’ – but insists their two-year relationship is ‘based on love’
- James Sims, 33, TyKenna Thompson, 28, and Sonyeasha Rollins, 26, are in a triad
- They have shared a flat together in Indiana since the very first day they all met
- But Ty’s father initially thought that James was ‘exploiting’ her and Sony for sex
- James, or Jay, insisted that Ty and Sony have a sexual relationship without him
- They said they have found ‘unconditional love’ in their polyamorous relationship
A polyamorous triad who moved in together on the first day they met have admitted family members feared they were being ‘exploited for sex’ in the arrangement.
James Sims, 33, TyKenna Thompson, 28, and Sonyeasha Rollins, 26, from Indiana, have been together as a trio for two years, describing it as a ‘lifetime’ for a three-way relationship.
But they admitted they have faced misconceptions about their romance, with some people believing they are ‘overly sexual’, while TyKenna’s father suspecting James was ‘exploiting’ her and Soneasha, known as Sony, for sex.
Instead James, who goes by Jay, insisted that Sony and TyKenna, known as Ty, have an intimate relationship independently of himself and they all enjoy one-on-one dates as well as spending time as a triad.
James Sims, 33, TyKenna Thompson, 28, and Sonyeasha Rollins, 26, (L-R) from Indiana, have been in a triad for two years, explaining that this is a ‘lifetime’ for a polyamorous relationship
Jay first met Sony through social media when he was working as a surgical assistant in Fort Smith Arkansas, and the pair quickly began spending time together.
He later met Ty online and, after they met in person, he decided to introduce Sony and Ty, organizing for them to meet at his apartment.
Jay, who now works in real estate, said that Ty and Sony ‘never left’ his flat after being introduced, revealing they have been living together since that first meeting.
He told FEMAIL: ‘We have lived together since the first day we met. We just vibed so well together that nobody ever wanted to go home.’
They have been romantically involved for two years but their families did not take their relationship well due to their Christian faith, while Ty’s father was convinced about Jay’s motives.
Sony, who works in tattooing, said: ‘Jay and Ty’s family took it the hardest, both being based in the religious world of Christianity. My family hasn’t yet commented on the situation but being raised Baptist it’s assumed to be frowned upon.’
Jay admitted they constantly face misconceptions about their relationship, including that they must be ‘overly sexual’ or that their triad is an ‘excuse for cheating’.
James, known as Jay, met Sony (left) and later met Ty, before deciding to introduce them at his apartment – where they have all lived together as a triad since the first day they met
He explained: ‘There are a lot of stigmas that come with being in a polyamorous relationship. Most people assume that if you are poly you are overly sexual or that it’s an excuse for cheating. We have heard them all.
‘Ty’s father for example was convinced that I was trying to exploit them for sex.’
But Jay insisted that Ty and Sony have a relationship and ‘enjoy each other’ independently from him, as well as them all being intimately involved as a triad.
Jay added that they all have ‘high sex drives’ which he said the Covid-19 pandemic has not interfered with, explaining that if one person doesn’t feel like having sex then the other can ‘step in to fulfill those needs’.
He continued: ‘The pandemic hasn’t really slowed down anything in the sex department. Since the pandemic we have become more creative when it comes to sex.
‘We all love sex and have pretty high sex drives. Sometimes when one person doesn’t feel like having sex or is not able to have sex the other person usually steps in to fulfill those needs.
They admitted their families did not take the relationship well due to their Christianity, while Ty’s father was convinced Jay (center) was ‘exploiting’ her and Sony (left) for sex
‘The women in this relationship can enjoy each other without me being a part of it all the time. So it really honestly works out pretty good.’
Speaking about living together amid the Covid crisis, Jay explained that they have not been able to enjoy any one-on-one date nights and have instead spent time as a triad.
But they insisted that the pandemic, which has proved to be a challenge for many romances, has not had a negative impact on their triad, instead saying that it has made them ‘closer’.
He continued: ‘We love being around each other so it was nothing new having to social distance or stay at home because it’s honestly what we love doing anyway. We have grown in our relationship with each other I feel because of the pandemic, especially when it comes to our spiritual growth.
‘I feel that’s the area that’s grown the most, and coincidentally that’s the area that has become the super glue to our relationship.’
Before lockdown the trio would schedule date nights as a triad as well as having individual date nights to bolster their ‘personal one-on-one’ bonds.
Describing their date nights, Jay said one Saturday night he took Ty bowling and then the following night, he took Sony to an arcade and to play laser tag.
Jay insisted that Ty (right) and Sony (left) have a relationship and ‘enjoy each other’ independently from him, as well as them all being intimately involved as a triad
Jay explained: ‘Date nights usually consist of a romantic dinner or something fun like laser tag, trampoline park or shopping. We like to go to new places we haven’t been because we love to eat.
‘We go out together a lot but we also have individual date nights because it’s important that we all have a bond together but it’s also important that we have a personal one-on-one bond with everyone in this relationship.
‘The first time we did one-on-one dates with each other it went very well. We picked a Saturday and Sunday. Both dates were different; I took Ty to the mall and we hung out. We also went bowling and putt putt golfing; we really enjoyed it.
‘Sony loves video games so on our date the next day we went to an arcade. We played so many games. Once we were done we ended up going to laser tag and out to eat.
‘Even though Ty and Sony like some of the same things, when it comes to dates they are completely different. So I had to find what each person liked to make it as special as I could.’
Since moving in together on the day they met, they have been in a relationship for two years, which they describe as a ‘lifetime’ in the polyamorous world.
Commenting on why some polyamorous relationships do not last, Jay said that for many people ‘love’ is not their primary motivation, unlike his own relationship which he claimed has ‘weathered every storm’.
Jay continued: ‘What was really amazing but tragic is that when we started this journey together there were so many other polyamorous relationships.
Jay said they all have ‘high sex drives’ and Covid-19 has made them more ‘creative’ when it comes to sex; if one person doesn’t feel like it, then the other can ‘step in’
‘We looked to other couples as a guide or example of how we should model our relationship. The interesting part about that is that more than half of the relationships we admired coming into this is journey are no longer together.
‘For the longest time, we could not understand why people couldn’t make their relationships work. The reason is because love wasn’t their primary motivation to be in the relationship.
‘Love always wins if you let it, that’s why our relationship has weathered every storm we have gone through as a triad, and it’s that very reason it will withstand the test of time.’
As well as the rewards of their relationship, Jay admitted it can also be challenging, admitting their biggest hurdle was learning to ‘trust each other’s intentions’.
Jay said: ‘The biggest reward for us would most definitely be finding out what real, unconditional love is. That changed everything for us.
‘The biggest challenge was learning each other and trusting each other’s intentions.
‘Being in a polyamorous relationship is more challenging but it is also more rewarding than a monogamous relationship in many ways as well.’
Jay and Sony have both previously been in other polyamorous relationships, while it is Ty’s first non-monogamous romantic relationship.
Since becoming a polyamorous triad, they have set up an Instagram, @bhgpolylife, to address misconceptions about their relationship, for which they have received ‘mostly positive feedback’.
Since becoming a polyamorous triad, they have set up an Instagram, @bhgpolylife, to address misconceptions about their relationship (L-R: Ty, Sony and Jay)
Jay explained: ‘Starting a Instagram was actually Sony’s idea. We love it, we love our Instagram family. We’ve experienced mostly positive feedback but not everyone has been supportive.
‘We don’t let the criticism affect us much but we do address misconceptions because we don’t want any confusion and if there is criticism then at least it’s the truth that’s being criticized.
‘We aren’t raising awareness for polyamorous relationships, but are raising awareness for the most important thing, and that’s love. We want people to love each other – that’s it.’
Speaking about their future plans, they said they want to be an ‘inspiration’ for other people who are trying to love in their own way ‘no matter what the world thinks’.
They explained: ‘Individually we all want to have successful businesses. Sony with tattooing, Ty being a nail technician and Jay doing real estate.
‘We want to spread the message of love and be an inspiration for people to love the way they choose to, no matter what the world thinks.’
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